Being afraid is all right. Being hesitant is all right. Feeling vulnerable and defenceless is all right. They are all part of the ongoing development of our self. When we begin to work with it, we won’t know where we are, where we are going and what will happen to us along the way. This is all right too.
There is no exact blueprint on how to get to know our self, no external guide or map we can look at. The blueprint is our self. How to read the map means reading our self. The guide is our self and it will show us how to work through the various stages. From the first step to the last, it will be an individual journey. But what a journey!
As we let the process continue we begin to trust our self and we begin to trust the process. We begin to see familiar landmarks and we begin to see the bridges we need to cross. We get to know the rest stops on the way and we know with growing certainty that we are headed in the right direction.
It does mean changes, but all the resources necessary will be found in our self and we will find them waiting for us at each step. Not only will we find them waiting, we will find they have been there all along. There will be times of uncertainty when we turn back or stop along the way. When we are ready to begin again, we will find the resources are still there.
What does fear hold us back from? Being free. Self-expression. What do we want for ourselves in five years time? Who do we want to be? That person is not going to magically appear one morning. We must work towards being that person. It is a journey in ourselves to ourselves.
All the energy which has been used to suppress our self, can be freed for us to use in whatever way we wish. It is a gift of life which is waiting for all of us. The time will come again for change, far less dramatically, but come again it will and there will be new challenges to meet. This call for growth is part of the evolutionary development in all of us. It is a question of how honest we are being with ourselves, but this honesty is the way of self determination. Of individuation.
It is our choice.